Dating in the digital age is a lot different than it was even just a few years ago. Much has changed, but one thing remains the same: people looking to meet someone special. The methods and means may have altered, but the end goal remains the same. You see, online dating has become something of a norm these days.
When you combine that with the rise of social media and mobile devices, there are more opportunities than ever to find that perfect someone. But as we all know, meeting new people can be nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time.
There’s an entire conversation that takes place before meeting up in person for the first time – checkboxes, profile pictures, brief bios – it all makes meeting new people in this day and age perhaps a little less nerve-wracking and a little more exciting.
You don’t have to just sit at home and wonder if you’ll ever find a guy who will love you back. You can sign up for online dating services and meet men who are looking for someone exactly like you.
However, that doesn’t mean it won’t be challenging. These websites tend to bring out the awkward in most people. Even so, there are several ways to make your profile stand out from the rest and increase your chances of finding the man of your dreams with online dating services.
Do you ever feel like everyone is dating except you? Dating apps, matchmakers and speed dating are all ways to meet new people. But they can also feel overexposed—and exhausting. With so many options, how do you make sure your Internet search for love isn’t a big Let’s Date Alone Again stat?
Here are 19 tips for online dating success from a guy’s perspective:. Regardless of how much the world changes, there are some universal truths: People like other people who are nice to them, validate their feelings and demonstrate that they care about them.
If we boil this down any further, it comes down to being kind and thoughtful. It’s simple but not easy. We all have our insecurities when it comes to dating. As with anything challenging in life, preparation and practice makes perfect. These tips will help you find more potential partners and successfully navigate the world of online dating as a guy:
1. Set an intention before you start dating
You want to be dating for the right reasons. Are you dating to find a partner who is a good fit for you and your lifestyle? Are you dating to find a partner who you can grow with over time, or are you dating because you’re lonely?
A lot of people turn to online dating because they’re lonely. It’s totally understandable. But if you are dating because you’re lonely and not because you want to find the right person, then you’ll be more likely to settle.
You’ll also be more likely to ghost people, not reply to messages and use people as a way to feel less lonely. All of these things will ultimately make you feel even lonelier in the long run. Dating with the intention to find the right person for you will help you avoid these pitfalls. It’ll give you something specific to look for in a partner. And it’ll help you prioritize the important things.
2. Use the 3-day rule before you send a message
Yes, it may seem like a fickle rule, but trust us, it helps! We’ve found that the 3-day rule helps men avoid two common pitfalls:
(1) sending a message out of loneliness, and (2) sending a message out of eagerness. Some might argue that 3 days is too long to wait to respond. But we like to take our time with dating because it gives us the opportunity to really get to know someone and not just see what their surface level interests or personality traits are.
When you respond to someone’s message after 3 days, it shows that you are thoughtful. It shows that you are not just responding because you’re lonely or eager.
3. Make your profile pic count
Dating app companies have been putting a lot of effort into making it easier for people to meet new people. This can be a great thing, but it can also be a little overwhelming. The photos you post are one of the first things people see about you.
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In terms of potential matches, your photo selection is about 80% of the equation for being chosen. Photos are the main way people decide if they want to continue reading your profile and talking to you.
So, it is important that you make a good first impression. Make sure your photos are recent, professionally taken and well-lit. Choose at least one photo in which you are looking directly at the camera. This shows confidence. If you have tattoos, be sure they are covered.
4. Use video Meet-up to identify mutual interests
If you are on a dating app that allows it, try adding a short video clip of yourself. This will let people see your face (which is important), but it also gives you an opportunity to demonstrate your interests as well.
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This can be as simple as you saying where you work or what your hobbies are. You can also use this video as an opportunity to ask people questions if you don’t feel like you can come up with things to talk about in your profile.
5. Don’t read too much into first messages
Now, we’re not telling you to ignore red flags or anything like that. But you should know that there is a wide range of first messages people send on dating apps. And sometimes, your first message isn’t as great as you think it is.
Don’t take a lackluster first message personally. Remember that people are trying to send out as many messages as possible with the hopes that someone will respond. Remember that your inbox is a dating minefield and a lot of people are feeling nervous, anxious and scared that they aren’t good enough to date. So they aren’t putting their best foot forward.
6. Remember: You’re in control of the conversation
Dating is a skill. It’s something you have to learn. But dating apps have created this weird illusion that you can just swipe/click your way to a relationship. Just like you can’t become a professional athlete by watching TV, you can’t become an expert on dating by swiping through dating sites.
Dating apps are a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there and try to talk to as many people as possible. But don’t get lost in numbers. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to make all of your conversations last 30 seconds or less. For every conversation that you have, you should have a goal.
What do you want to come out of this conversation? What do you want to learn about this person? What do you want them to learn about you? Don’t be afraid to be upfront about what you are looking for in a relationship. Let people know what your expectations are. This can help weed out people who aren’t a good fit for you.
7. Be authentic and don’t over-apologize for being a man
This isn’t the 90s anymore. You don’t have to over-apologize for being a man. You don’t have to over-apologize for the way you talk. You don’t have to apologize for having interests or hobbies.
Don’t be overly apologetic if someone is offended by your jokes. Don’t be overly apologetic if you want to talk about something in particular. Don’t be overly apologetic if you don’t want a relationship.
Don’t be overly apologetic if you want to take your time dating. Don’t be overly apologetic if you want to be romantic. Don’t be overly apologetic if you want to pursue sex early on. Don’t be overly apologetic if you want to be alone.
8. Dating is supposed to be fun, so make it a game!
Dating is supposed to be fun! Too often, we get caught up in the romantic ideal of dating and forget that dating is supposed to be fun! You don’t have to take yourself so seriously. You don’t have to be so anxious about every date or person you meet. Don’t feel like you have to sweep every person off their feet.
Don’t feel like you have to be your best self on every date. Dating is not a competition. Don’t feel obligated to do something special for every person you go out with. Don’t feel like you need to impress everyone or win every person over.
It’s okay to make mistakes and to be normal. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Dating should be fun and relaxed.
9. Don’t Be Scared, Be Strategic
Dating can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. With these tips, you can navigate the dating world with more confidence. You can meet people you might actually want to date. And you can do it without feeling so anxious or stressed out.
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Whether you’re single for a short period of time or you’re single for life, there are plenty of tips and tricks you can use to find love. If you’re trying to find a dating app that’s right for you, take these tips into consideration.
10. Be proud of who you are and what you look like
It’s common to have insecurities, but they will hold you back. If you are not confident in yourself and your appearance, it’s unlikely anyone will be confident in you. However, the key to confidence is not pretending to be something you’re not; it’s being proud of who you are and what you look like.
Confident people are comfortable in their own skin. They are not afraid to show their true selves and are not ashamed of what they look like. And if you’re not comfortable with your appearance, there are plenty of ways to make small changes to feel more confident.
11. Use your words to showcase the real you
Online dating, like the entire Internet, can be a black hole of information. Instead of putting your best foot forward, many people post generic and self-defeating messages like, “I like to laugh and have fun.” This makes you sound like every other profile on the site. So instead of relying on generalities, use your words to showcase the real you.
What do you care about? What do you like to do? What are your dreams and goals for the future? If you want to find love, the more specific you can be, the better. Don’t worry: There is no right answer. You don’t have to have it all figured out. These are your stories and experiences. You don’t have to have the perfect one-liner—just be authentic.
12. Understand that dating is a process of elimination
Online dating is really just a numbers game. You are going to meet a ton of people and only a few will go on a second date. If you are meeting people in person, even more will fall by the wayside. This may sound scary and intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be.
While you should go into each interaction with a positive attitude, don’t take any one date or person too seriously. Dating is a process. If you don’t like someone, don’t despair. You aren’t going to find the love of your life on the first or even the 10th date.
Keep an open mind and go into each date or interaction with a positive attitude. Don’t invest too much in dates with people you aren’t interested in. You don’t want to lead anyone on, but you don’t want to close yourself off to other potential connections.
13. Don’t be afraid to walk away from bad situations
If you aren’t feeling comfortable in the situation, don’t be afraid to walk away. We often put pressure on ourselves to stay in situations that make us uncomfortable, mainly because we don’t want to be rude.
Don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings. You can politely excuse yourself. And if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, leave. If you are going on a date with someone and feel like they are crossing a line, leave. It’s not worth it. You can politely tell them you have to go or that you’re not feeling well, but walk away from the situation if it isn’t comfortable.
14. Remember that women have their own insecurities too
As a guy, it can be easy to get caught up in your own insecurities and forget that women have them too. Women are just as nervous about dating as you are. Don’t think that women are only pursuing you because they want something from you. They might just be as nervous as you are. Don’t forget that dating is a two-way street. You are both trying to get something out of the relationship.
15. Most importantly: Have fun!
Online dating can be stressful at times, and it can be easy to forget that it’s supposed to be fun. However, you need to remember that dating is a way to meet new people. It’s not meant to be stressful or full of pressure. If you are going on dates because you want to meet people, then it will happen.
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to find The One. And if you aren’t meeting anyone, remember that you can also try offline dating. Join clubs or groups that interest you. Meet people organically through your daily life. There are many ways to meet people without having to log on to a dating app.
16. Transparency Is Key
If you want to find real love, you need to be transparent. Assume that everyone is looking for love and don’t hold back on your feelings. If you want to go out with someone, go out with them! Don’t worry about scaring them off or being too forward. Don’t wait for the other person to make a move.
Be honest and upfront from the beginning. Make it clear that you are looking for love. Don’t hold back on your desires or your expectations. If someone doesn’t want to be transparent with you, then move on. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Be upfront about your wants and needs, and be confident in your choices.
17. Don’t Just Listen, Talk To People
If you want to find love, you have to talk to people. Online dating is a numbers game. You are eventually going to meet someone, but you won’t meet anyone if you don’t talk to anyone. Don’t just listen to messages and emails.
Respond and initiate conversations. This will help you get over your insecurities and meet more potential partners. Look for commonalities between you and the person you are talking to.
Find things you have in common to break the ice and make the conversation more natural. Don’t just talk to the people you would date. Talk to the people you wouldn’t date too. This will help you get a better picture of who is out there and what people are like.
18. Find The Right Fit
You might be getting dates and messages, but if you aren’t meeting the right people, you won’t find love. Don’t just settle because you are desperate. If someone isn’t the right fit, they won’t be the right person 10 dates from now.
Don’t date someone because they are available. Date someone because they are right for you. People don’t change. If someone is dishonest with you now, they will be dishonest with you in the future.
If they are rude now, they will be rude later. Don’t settle for a person who isn’t a fit for you. Dating someone who doesn’t value or respect you will only leave you feeling frustrated and resentful.
19. Ask The Right Questions
Before you meet someone in person, make sure you have some basic information about them. This might seem overly cautious, but online dating has become a dangerous place.
Don’t be the person who shows up at a coffee shop for their first date only to discover that the person is 10 years older than they claimed to be or isn’t the person they claimed to be. Don’t ask anything too invasive, but do ask the basics: Where do they work? Where did they go to school? Where do they like to travel? By finding out the basics, you can